Yea that was my same question! Who is the hefty chick looking back at me in the mirror! One night after getting out of the shower, I noticed a big dark line creeping up my stomach... WTF!?!? Omg, what the fuck is that???? Is that a stretch mark?!?!? I could not believe what the hell I was looking at. I NEVER in my life had any dark marks on my body! I never even had a scar that I could tell a story about on my body. I was always protected by mother who made sure I never had any cuts or scrapes on my skin. That's why I never learned how to ride a bike! My mom didn't want me to mess my pretty legs up! So why now? Why is it now at the age of 30, I have a huge fucking line on my stomach. I was so disgusted with myself that night, that I actually went to bed in tears. I have eaten my way to disfigurement.
Flashing back to some events that happened earlier that year in 2012... I can see why I packed on the LB's... Not to make excuses for my weight gain.Cuz, I hate those types who blame having a fat ass on their overbearing mother or their abusive father... Nah, I don't blame anything on anyone. But I can honestly say that I had some crazy things happen to me. #1 I got out of a dead end losing relationship with a loser... #2 I was in school trying to meet deadlines for graduation, #3 I was without a job for a whole year, #4 I lost my apartment do to me not having a job, #5 I turned 30, #6 I had to move back home with my mother #7 I LOVE FOOD AND VODKA and I party waaay too much... OMG! I am as big as a fucking house and my life is in ruins!!!! NO WONDER WHY I AM A FAT ASS!!!!
I went through a little bit of a pitty party that some people may call depression... I don't call it that! I call it a party without a DJ... Yea, I hate saying depression. What are you depressed about. Every time a bitch says she is depressed I want to slap the shit outta her and say "BITCH FOCUS! There is a child hungry somewhere in the world; you are depressed??" So yea, I was stuck at a party without a DJ for a few months and it sucked ass... How am I going to get out of this funk. How am I going to lose this weight and be a happy healthier me?... Well this is my journal of how I am losing these Heavy Duty Pounds and remaining stretch mark free. Read along and find out how I cope with relationships, work, family (which is a very big struggle) and just LIFE! I am learning how to be a healthier happier me and putting an end the family curse of obesity and sickness. 2013 LET'S GO!
No comments:
Post a Comment