Regaining Your Confidence!

There is a lot you don't know about me. I am a lot of things.I am a daughter, sister, lover and friend. Sometimes I am a good daughter, sister, lover and friend, but sometimes I am not. I love people and I care for people. But sometimes I can't stand people to be around me! Sometimes you just wanna be left alone! It's funny because as I grow older, I realize that there are a lot of things that I really don't even know about me! I learn a lil bit more about me everyday.! I call it maturity and growth. I call it "regaining confidence" in yourself. Allowing what you learn along the path of life to guide you throughout life. This blog was supposed to be about me! This once fat girls journal on how to become fit and fine. I realized sooner than later, this is not what I needed. I realized that I needed to have confidence in any size jeans I was in. Food wasn't the culprit to my unhappiness. Situations and people whom I allowed into my home, my life, my circle. These were some of the things that caused me to be unhappy and leaded me to feed my emotions. 

I write when the spirit moves me to write. I am not an everyday blogger and sometimes I am just in a slump. I don't want to do anything because I really am consumed with LIFE! But when the spirit moves me, I am obedient and I do what it tells me to do. About 2 months ago my spirit was happy. The person who I really truly cared for and began to love was coming home! I was excited, over joyed and happy! We met over 2 almost 3 years ago. But we split and then we decided to try it one more time. As you know, while he was gone, I started my health awareness and began eating better and exercising. I wanted to be healthier and stronger but, I also wanted to look fabulous and sexy once he saw me after being gone for so long. When he got back, I had lost a total of 34 pounds! AMAZING! Within  4 months, I lost 34 pounds! I felt good and I looked good!

 I slipped on my Recco Chapele body huggin dress! My boobies were sitting puuuurfectly and that body was right!  And when he saw me!!!!!!! Nothing... Not one word. Not one word of babe you look good. Not one word asking me how I lost the weight, not one word... Wow. Kinda crushing. A lot of other things were not right, (that I wont go into detail about... right now...) but I was kind of crushed. Here it is, I am no longer at risk for predisposed diabetes, I look and feel great! Is it just me. Am I tooting my own horn too much?? Well, needless to say I decided to allow that relationship to cease. We can always be friends. But I knew from that day, the fire wasn't there that I needed to keep me going. The fire to keep me inspired, happy and encouraged to live my life healthier and better wasn't there.

I didn't allow the relationship get me down! In fact it made me work harder! I am so happy right now. I keep reassuring myself that I would rather be alone than unhappy. I get out 3 or 4 times a week and work out in the park! I go and walk for 45 minutes to an hour to clear my mind, think about what I need to do and imagine where I want to be in the future. It is free and I don't have to worry about dirty ass men stalking me in the gym, looking at my titts and ass while I jog on the treadmill! I am now 42 pounds down and I have 25-30 more to go. I am taking my time because I want to do this right. But I am not stopping until I get to where I want to be health wise and physically! 

Ladies and gents, never wait on someone to compliment your confidence! Wear your badge of confidence everyday! Knowing that you are awesome and beautiful no matter what nobody has to say! REGAIN YOUR CONFIDENCE!!! Eat right and Keep it Tight! 

The Beaux is Back

How Can I Stay Focused

Many of you don't know about my personal life. I kinda am a private person and I really keep to my self when it comes to my relationships. I feel like a lot of times when you are happy and you start speaking on it, you can jinx your relationship. People want what you have! Before you know it, drama pops up outta no where! To be honest, I am 30 years old. I have noooo time for bullshit and drama. I want marriage, I want children, I want a healthy, strong and meaningful relationship. I don't think its much to ask for... With that being said, hey guys meet Corey!

I have known Corey now for almost, lets see here... 3 years. And I think he is a pretty decent guy. Of course we all have our flaws, but with him its nothing major. He is soft spoken, pretty gentle with me and my feelings and most of all he is a wonderful dad to a pretty little girl. I met him one night at a grand opening for a restaurant called Purple Rain. I was cute, but real regular this particular night. Usually when I go out to grand openings, I doll her up with makeup and push the girls all the way up to thee top! Lol. But this particular night, my friend Tonita convinced me to go out with her. I really didn't want to go out. But friendship rules! I threw on this over sized one shoulder out sweater, leggings and a pair of pumps.  Why did I do that? When I got there, press was out taking pics, celebs were there, hoochies were out with band aids on, and a cute guy playing the drums was there as well... Yup, my baby is a talented musician. During his break from playing, he sat across from me and kept starring! I felt under done and outta place. So I wasn't trying to talk to him. But on his 2nd and final break of the night, he came over and talked to me. We exchanged numbers and the rest is history.

That leads me to the following... Corey is a drummer. And he has been gone for a loooooong 6 months. Our schedules conflict and I haven't been able to go and see him when he ports in New Orleans. I am a girl who doesn't need a lot. But when I need love and affection, I need it like a drug. When Corey left I knew he would be gone for a long time. I made the decision that when he came back, I wanted to be shape. I wanted to look and feel sexy. I think when u look and feel sexy, that energy bounces off of you and attacks the person whom you are with. When I saw Corey at the airport, I had on a form fitted Reco Chapelle dress, high heels and fabulous bedroom tossled hair. I had confidence! I felt certain that he desired me. I was happy to see this man who I hadn't touched, felt, smelled, kissed or made love to in 6 months... Crazy right! I know. It drove me almost INSANE!

 I MUST STAY FOCUSED! Since Corey has been back I have not been to the gym. I have not worked out and even though I control my portions, I have been eating whatever the hell he wants to eat. Women, you know we can't do what men do! Corey can drop weight instantly. Me on the other hand, has to keep my ass stayed in the gym to burn off thigh meat! I have to stay focused. Even though I want to be next to my man 24/7 (cuz he is leaving again soon) I can't be. I have to work out still and keep it sexy for us. I also think that when men see you focused on other things besides them, it keeps them intrigued. So, tomorrow I am going to the gym early in the a.m. to hit the paint hard! I got a body to keep healthy and in shape for ME! Then I am going to see about that man who I am growing more and more fond of by the minute... Tehehehe. ;) Remember ladies! EAT RIGHT AND KEEP IT TIGHT!