I Must Admit...

To thine own self be true Yolanda! 

Okay, I must admit it to myself and to those of you who follow me... My gym routine has been a little slack. I am not the one to make excuses, but it's not my fault!!! I started going to the gym with all intentions on working out to help boost my weight loss. But since my near death experience, I was kinda scared of the gym. So, I decided that I needed to get a trainer. I would need he or she show me what I need to do, in order to get me where I want to be. So I finally met up with my trainer at LA Fitness to see what he was talking about. He was a wonderful guy. We talked  and he asked me a few questions like, Why I wanted to lose weight? What foods do I like the most? You know, the things a trainer would ask on your first meet and greet. Then we went and started my work out. Not too bad! He was actually kind! Nothing crazy like the nazi's on television who you see make fat boys and girls puke all over the screen! No, he was encouraging and I like him! The work out was intense enough to have me sore for the next few days, so it worked! I liked him! After the work out, I went back to his desk to discuss the financial commitment of having a trainer. 

I already made up in my mind that I wanted to pay $150 a month to meet up with my trainer once or twice a week. I just need the essentials! Teach me how to use the equipment, show me how to work out my core, and instruct me on how to tone and tighten all over! In between our sessions I will work out myself and make it work for me! Well, after sitting me down, we started talking. I find out that my trainer isn't going to be my trainer. The man that I felt comfortable with for the past hour is a manager who basically is there to take my payment...  My trainer is actually a man who after meeting him for the first 5 seconds, I could tell he was trying to calculate how he was going to get me naked in the steam room after hours... #1 I hate men who think they are the shit. After flashing me his million dollar smile, I noticed he was holding a pink and purple heart iphone case. I look at the phone with a smirk on my face and say, "Cute phone case... I like the purple sparkle hearts..." Instantly I knew he was holding a chicks phone! There was no way in hell, that was this dudes phone! He quickly stated that it's his other clients phone. A woman then walks up to us with a sports bra and spandex on and says she needed her phone. She says this while looking at me up and down... Wooooow! This dude is a gym pimp! Oh no thanks! I am not subscribing to this! Can you just imagine me working out on all fours and this dude touching and grabbing some of my 2000 parts??? Yea, no thanks. I'm good! 

 And on top of me finding out that he was going to be my trainer, I was going to have to pay $190 to sign up plus $180 a month and on top of that I was going to have to sign a contract that tied me into this deal for 50 weeks!! Wooooooooooo Nelly!! This is way too much and I don't want to commit to that! This is not something I want to even consider. 

So I have been avoiding that gym all together.

I have been doing floor exercises at home but I really don't think it's doing what I want it to do! So I am soliciting help! LOL! If you have any exercises that you think will help to trim, tighten and tone, hit me up at fatgurlfine@gmail.com! I love to get emails from you guys! I got some wonderful recipes and tips for weight loss! KEEP IT COMING!  Also, if you are a trainer and you want to work with me, please e-mail me as well. I would love to feature you in my blog! Until next time FAT GUYS AND GURLS, eat right and keep it TIGHT!!!! Muah! 

The Work Out... Part 2

Okay, look... I acknowledge that in order to maintain a healthy life style, you must have some physical activity. I know this! But that still doesn't change the fact that I kinda hate working out and I am the laziest person when it comes to doing it. Neither here nor there, I decided that I was going to renew my gym membership at L.A. Fitness. Nice gym, but too many people. I swear! Only in Atlanta, Georgia will you find whores on a treadmill with full face, hair weave and  a pump it up bra with booty pads included... DAYUM! It's okay ladies if you need a little attention, but some of us really over do it! I just want go to the gym as I am and get fit!!!!! But I had to succumb to the fact that while you are in Rome, you must do what the Romans do! So, I too went to the gym with my titts all out with the tightest leggins that showed a slight camel toe along with the reddest lipstick ever to meet up with my trainer G for the first time! Look I had to put my best face forward! 
I had to reschedule my appointment to meet up with G 3 times! No it's not because I was avoiding the gym and my trainer. I had a lifestyle change. I quit my job at the spa and I had to hustle, hustle real hard to get my paper flowing back to me! One thing I DO NOT play with is my money and my time. So between me doing makeup for reality television celebs, and demanding makeup clients. My diet slacked off. When you are working non stop and never really get a break, you pick up the quickest meal you can find to help your hunger. This could be one of the reasons why I put on the pounds over the years. Not preparing my meals and going to the quickest drive thru...  So, yes I cancelled on G 3 times before I actually met him. When I introduced myself to him he busted out laughing! He knew me before he even laid eyes on me only because I kept calling, scheduling and rescheduling.  I quickly explained what happen and why I had to cancel on him so many times. He gave me a BITCH YEA RIGHT look and told me to sit down and have a talk. He asked about my goals and where I wanted to be by April (<------ This is when my future hubby gets back home!!) So after a long discussion, we started the WORK OUT... Oh Lord Jesus be with me... The warm up was intense, so I knew the work out was about to kick my ass!!!!

Beach Body Body Ball

OKAY! So let's talk about the BIG ASS BALL that almost killed me! You know what, I didn't sign up for this! I was done by the third routine. But something in the back of my head was saying, "Don't even think about giving up! PUSH BITCH PUSH! You can do this! Your ass is outta shape, get back into shape!" All of this was playing in my head while I kept it moving! Then we started doing some squats that contained a little heavy ball that has my whole upper body aching! What's up with the balls man?!? Balls are supposed to be fun to play with... 

These are the exact exercises he had me to do today. This was for my abs and lower body he stated. Well a few hours have gone by and I just tried walking DOWN the stairs in my house and I almost passed out! What in the hell?!? Even though today was a difficult day, I wont give up and I don't think you should either. Keep pushing, keep fighting, and if you happen to fall off the bandwagon... Run your chubby ass until you catch back up and hop back on it again! I hope you have a great workout week! 

The Work Out...

Oh God, please be with me tomorrow... I have been very successful with dieting. I managed to lose 16 pounds thus far with just watching what goes into my mouth. Look, to me thats the easy part to dieting only because I barely eat as it is. What scares me the most with this whole diet is the work out regime!  Now, let's talk about my gym... ** long pause** Dick City Central! As soon as I hit the door, BAM! I feel like men are watching me. As I look straight ahead trying not to make eye contact with any of these dudes, I feel more and more uncomfortable. My other LA Fitness was not like this hip hop club of a gym! Maybe I should get a membership at Curves instead of LA FITNESS... Naaaah, the thought of 50 year old women trying to show me up cuz they are in better shape would just piss me the hell off. And I don't wanna trip an old ass lady up and make her fall and break a hip... O_o
So I went to LA Fitness last week to renew my membership... First off lets talk about how DAVE! at the gym was trying to make bank on me! First off DAAAAVE! I don't like the gotdayum gym in the first place!  So no im not going to pay you $129 to come to this bitch only twice a week!!! This Asian must have lost his lil kong pow chicken mind! Nope ain't gonna happen I have to get my nails done tomorrow.  So, $76 dollars later... **long pause followed by a blank stare** I got a membership key chain again and now I am ready to hit the gym baby! WooooooHoooo!!!!!... Yea right bitch! Do you know it's going on 2 weeks and I have yet, to step foot inside of that gym. And the sad thing about this story is that, I have to pass the gym everyday to go and from work. This is a mind issue. I think with me, I tend to have it all together, but I really am struggling to make this work. I am not just being a slacker, I lack something that is holding me back from losing this weight and going inside of this gym! Up until yesterday...
Well yesterday I went to the gym. Earphones in, Rick Ross blaring (cuz that big breasted man is my motivation) no worries, I got this!  I had to pep talk my ass out of the car! WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME! I was seriously scared to walk inside of this gym. It was packed. Sweaty men were all over the place and I was meeting eyes with some of these dudes. I look like shit, I feel dumpy as hell, I aint ready for this... I get on the stair climber only because all of the treadmills are taken. After 7minutes and 45seconds of me being on the stair climber, I almost died... No, seriously my legs had no feeling... A little cute petite woman hops off her treadmill and I'm like YESSSSS!!!! Nooooo bitch, noooooo!!!!!!!!!! No you are not ready! I stayed on the treadmill for 10minutes at 4.5 speed. I am not this outta shape. Just 3 months ago I was running non stop on the treadmill for 10-15 minutes! But at this moment in time, my body was telling me, not today you thick Mcdouble!
My mouth was dry, my head was getting dizzy and I was feeling like I had to throw up! Oooooh no, Yolanda dont make an ass outta yourself! I quickly went into my car, laid my head back on the seat and called my co-worker who is in tip top shape to tell her about my experience. Emmy I don't think I can do this. Im about to die BITCH!!!! I think I'm just gonna watch what I eat. I feel like I am going to pass the hell out! Snickering... Uhmmmm, why is Emmy laughing out loud at me...??? I feel some kinda way about this.. Emmy asked me what I ate before going to the gym... I had an egg white omlet that morning and a banana @7pm before the gym. "Bitch! Are you trying to kill yourself while running! " Emily, why are you yelling at me... :( What? What did I do wrong?? Emmy explained to me that I didn't put enough in, to exert that amount of energy out. So I had to eat something right away. I did that an instantly felt better!  My mom checked my sugar level and Emmy was right.  I was low... So tomorrow I met up with a trainer and he is going to show me how to work out properly... Again,  I am going to do my best... I will have another story for ya! And maybe even a few pics as well... we will see! Until tomorrow my loves!!! Muah ♥♥♥

BTW excuse all typos this blog was done all on my droid! :))

BIG GURLS NEED LOVIN' TOO!

Dammit!! Big gurls need to be loved as well!!!
 I was searching the internet looking for a reasonable picture of a man showing love toward a plus size woman.It's close to Valentines Day and I wanted to do an article.Well, I searched for a good 30 minutes! But all I could seem to find was foolishness and fuckery... Huh? So you mean to tell me that plus size women as myself is incapable of love and affection? Really?... As a woman who has always been the thicker of the click, I must admit. I had my hang ups at times. Wondering if a man could love me for all of my perfect imperfections. And now that I was doing this google search and can't find this type of love, I wonder if it even exist...
Lets be real here for a second! MEN LIKE THICK, FAT ASS, BIG BOOBY CHICKS! It aint what I am guessing, it's what I know for a fact. I have dated gorgeous men! And when I say gorgeous, I mean just that. I have dated the trainer who is now the GM of major fitness company. I have dated the model who you have probably seen on t.v. for one of my most favorite reality shows. I was in love with and engaged to a man who trained UFC fighters. And I had a rocky and crazy relationship with a fine ass, hot head Pittsburgh thug who wore me out! All of that to say that momma can pull'em! But that is besides the point! Were these men loving me for me or for my form? It seems like the thick chicks get excluded from the real love section. I don't want a man who just loves big fat chicks either. Those BBW men are weird as hell man!! They have creepy ass fetishes that I just don't get down with. Like eating ice cream outta fat chicks belly button! That shit is so not cool and creepy... LOL! I like men who love women! I like men who can look at me and can say, she has style, charisma and sexiness... I don't want a man that looks at me and says, "She's big! I want her!" So not cute! My size has never defined me!                                    
As I got older I learned how to embrace and love me. I exuded a confidence like no other. I had confidence in the way I walked, the way I talked and in the way I dressed. I wear 6 inches of heel perfectly for my 5'8'' 200 pound frame. That's me! That's who I am! But even with the bigger than life personality, I still have my insecurities... I am involved with a man now who I can honestly say I am in love with. I think that this is my year to love and have someone to love me back equally. Corey and I have know each other for at least 2 years now and even though we have know each other for some time, I think we have finally grown up to take it to another level. He is gone a lot due to him being a musician. And that is one thing that I am growing to learn. Groupies love musicians and they love this dread head, drum tapping negro! So I am learning to be easy and not let that worry me. He loves his daughter and he loves his music. All I know is, he better put my thick ass right in the middle of that equation. He has been gone on tour with a cruise line for 3 months now and he wont be back until April... I wonder if he is going to like the new frame he sees at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport?!? I have lost 16 pounds since the last time he saw me... I am hoping to drop another 16-20 before he gets back home in April. Will he be shocked?... Who knows...

Found a man who knows where to put his hand on a woman... Lol I <3 this dude!

Who is that FAT GIRL??

Yea that was my same question! Who is the hefty chick looking back at me in the mirror! One night after getting out of the shower, I noticed a big dark line creeping up my stomach... WTF!?!? Omg, what the fuck is that???? Is that a stretch mark?!?!? I could not believe what the hell I was looking at. I NEVER in my life had any dark marks on my body! I never even had a scar that I could tell a story about on my body. I was always protected by mother who made sure I never had any cuts or scrapes on my skin. That's why I never learned how to ride a bike! My mom didn't want me to mess my pretty legs up!  So why now? Why is it now at the age of 30, I have a huge fucking line on my stomach. I was so disgusted with myself that night, that I actually went to bed in tears. I have eaten my way to disfigurement.
Flashing back to some events that happened earlier that year in 2012... I can see why I packed on the LB's... Not to make excuses for my weight gain.Cuz, I hate those types who blame having a fat ass on their overbearing mother or their abusive father... Nah, I don't blame anything on anyone. But I can honestly say that I had some crazy things happen to me. #1 I got out of a dead end losing relationship with a loser... #2 I was in school trying to meet deadlines for graduation, #3 I was without a job for a whole year, #4 I lost my apartment do to me not having a job, #5 I turned 30, #6 I had to move back home with my mother #7 I LOVE FOOD AND VODKA and I party waaay too much... OMG! I am as big as a fucking house and my life is in ruins!!!! NO WONDER WHY I AM A FAT ASS!!!! 
I went through a little bit of a pitty party that some people may call depression... I don't call it that! I call it a party without a DJ... Yea, I hate saying depression. What are you depressed about. Every time a bitch says she is depressed I want to slap the shit outta her and say "BITCH FOCUS! There is a child hungry somewhere in the world; you are depressed??" So yea, I was stuck at a party without a DJ for a few months and it sucked ass... How am I going to get out of this funk. How am I going to lose this weight and be a happy healthier me?... Well this is my journal of how I am losing these Heavy Duty Pounds and remaining stretch mark free. Read along and find out how I cope with relationships, work, family (which is a very big struggle) and just LIFE! I am learning how to be a healthier happier me and putting an end the family curse of obesity and sickness. 2013 LET'S GO!